Our Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

Posts tagged ‘giving’

His Birthday Spanking

I have been rebellious. Our new addition Stormy a black lab puppy has put stress in our connection time. Regular spanking or love making has taken a back seat to the puppy and her needs. Sleep deprivation was a factor also until I realized our puppy had a bladder infection. I had been getting up with her at least once a night to go outside with her. When you live in a small place like an diesel truck this means I had to get fully dressed take her outside walk her and then bring her back in get undressed and settle her back down to sleep. So 30 minutes at a minimum to care for her needs. When I realized her problem I started her on a half dose of AZO once a day. The problem is clearing and now she has so much energy she needs a lot of exercise, but she sleeps through the night. 

That was one cause for my rebellion. The other was a series of hurt feeling and stress of our financial situation. DH takes care of our financial management, but we still discuss it and I am fully aware of our situation at any given time. I get to feeling useless in my inability to earn money or not make enough of it at the time.

I have published my first novel The Phillamanteca; The Story of Jane a parallel story of how I felt about my life from 2002 through 2008. There is a piece of me in all of the characters and I identify with each one. You can find my published novel available in most ebook formats here. It will also be advertised and available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble sites beginning December 1.  The sales will help us financially as I continue to self promote and the general public realizes my ability to tell a story. To read a selection of my short stories you can go to Teresa Wilkinson The Storyteller. This is also my personal blog outside the domestic discipline lifestyle.

When we began our DD lifestyle I was embarrassed to admit I submit to being spanked and figured it was better to keep this our secret. I never told my vanilla lifestyle friends about my BDSM lifestyle so why would I tell them about this. When I read Laura Doyles book ‘The Surrendered Wife’ I became simultaneously became active in a yahoo group that supports women in this lifestyle ‘The Surrendering Submissive’. I choose to use my erotic fiction alias as my alias for this lifestyle posting.

Everything above is stressful. Living this life and then having to back track because of life changes was extremely stressful on both of us. Living in the vanilla world as a writer and living in the D’s world as someone else is stressful. Yet everyone is complex. No one identifies with anyone completely and this lifestyle is the working blueprint for how our marriage works.

DH had a birthday yesterday. I was not and have not been submissive for a matter of weeks. DH had not pushed me to be submissive, he never does. My submission is my gift to him, if I am feeling less than submissive he respects that. I don’t break our rules so discipline was not a factor. I have just been distant. Yesterday I asked him though how he wanted to celebrate his evening. Of course he wanted to give me his Birthday Spankings. I honored his request and submitted. I wish now I had been able to submit these past few weeks. We are connected again. Because of the puppy he did not take me to tears and the emotional release that brings but he satisfied his need. When he was through I told him that during the spanking I wanted to go the full round. I did not want it to stop until I was crying and talking. That will happen soon, but last night it just wasn’t possible there were too many neglected needs and time was not our friend.

Domestic Discipline is a gift of understanding in our relationship. It is also a learning process. We now know he needs to take me in hand not because I have been bad, but to keep me connected when I let life circumstance hurt me and us. We could have been through this portion of misunderstanding quicker if we had stopped sooner and took care of us. Life is a learning thing though, we make mistakes as a couple and we learn together. I knew I was skirting close to the side of my personality that destroyed my first relationship, but I did not have the energy to stop it.

Happy Birthday to my DH and thank you for the Birthday Spanking.

My Teachers Possession

The shackles on my wrists pulled my arms up and away from my back. A chain secure to them attached to the ceiling. My neck is secured by a posture collar and this too is chained to the ceiling. I am exhausted. I am beyond pain though, standing here as I have.

I agreed to this test. Silence, darkness no concept of time I have agreed to this test in a moment of lust. I had willingly accepted the shackles and the collar, although I knew not exactly what the test would consist of it never occurred that the test would be an eternity of stress. The temperature of my existence has change from comfortable to cold, from extreme pain of standing on my tiptoes to relieve my stressed neck and wrists. I have experienced defeat and victory to survive what I assume is a nighttime tested in extreme bounds.

I had cried, laughed and screamed during this time. My emotional torrent is exhausted now. I have nothing left. When my teacher returns will I be able to speak? I wonder will there be questions or duties or will I be allowed to rest? Is the release from these bounds the end of my test or will there be more? I entertain the questions knowing that I will not know the answers until my teacher returns. I have agreed to this test.

I did not hear footsteps or see a change in the darkness. All I felt was the change in atmosphere the change of complete solitude to the pressure of my teachers presence. I feel the chains begin to release slowly. My arms are released to rest the handcuffs on my corseted back. The chain attached to the collar though stays. I must remain on my toes, but I am able to shift my weight slightly. I say nothing. Listening instead waiting for words or sounds I am given none. The teacher’s presence leaves me and my atmosphere is yet again solitude.

I am alone in still darkness. No trace of time affects me now for time has no matter. The test continues and I stand alone. No pain just relief to shift my weight a little.

The teacher’s presence fills my space again. A looming creature in possession of my life now, I care not when the test will end. I only want to please my teacher. I have uttered not a sound, I have only shifted my weight a little and my reward is the release of the chain attached to my collar. I do not quaver my position instead I slowly bring my bare heels to the floor and I stand straight my wrists resting on my buttocks.

The teacher strokes my face but is silent. The hands caress the collar and then follow my shoulders, softly the hands find my corset and then gently caress the tight muscles of my ass. The hands move down my thighs and calves. Then the hands are removed from my body. I have no emotion to this sensation and my mind has enjoyed the caress, but I do not react. I stand still waiting for words, but there are none.

I do hear finally the gentle snap of a leash to my collar yet again. Curiosity stirs but yet again I want to know what is to happen, but I really do not care at the moment I am the property of my teacher. I hear a switch but I am still in darkness and a gentle hum of an electric motor begins to purr. I feel a straw against my lips and I gladly accept the gift of water. I drink just a few sips and the straw is removed from my mouth. I let it go willingly. The soft tug of the leash and I follow just a few steps forward and I am halted. My teachers hands instruct the back of my knees to kneel and a cushion of vinyl planks greats my knees and shins. I am led by my collar to lay upon another cushioned plank my body. My ankles and thighs are locked into place another belt secures my body to the plank across my corset. Then my collar is secured to the bench I am again immobile. My body exposed at the back This position has me opened for a purpose, but I dare not allow my mind to wonder.

I feel my clit being pulled from its protective folds of my vulva. My teacher is skilled in removing my clit from its protection. The teeth of the clamp I was not expecting, but I do not react to the sensation of my clit being stretch away from me and secured to the bench as well. The purr of the motor still accentuates this still place, but I do not wonder what is next, I am a possession, I have no will. I am the property of my teacher and my complete trust is that my teachers will is my destiny.

The intrusion of tip into my vagina is not human, I can determine that in that it does not give to my tightness. It slowly pushes it way inside me and then the next tip again not human pushes into my anus. I am double penetrated and the non human tips begin to spin inside me slowly burrowing deeper and deeper into me. I am being screwed literally but I do not have pain. Just pressure of the spinning tips inside my body.

The tip in my ass feels invasive I wonder if it will tear me apart will I survive this? This thought does enter my mind will my teacher inadvertently or purposefully end my life? Do I care? No I am my teacher’s possession and if my life is to end here I am happy for this test.

The tips quit the rotational screwing, apparently reaching the destination with in me. A moment passes and I hear another switch. The tugging of the tips exiting me and then the pushing of them entering me again each time a little further out and back in. My G spot is being tormented by the sensation of double penetration. I feel the build of a climax but I have self control and I know not to release the building orgasm. My teacher will tell me when and then the teacher leaves and I am alone again in room this time being steadily aroused by a machine.

The tips continue the task I build to orgasm over and over again but I do not grant my body the release. The pain in my clit a constant thought but it subsides and builds as do the orgasms. I am in complete control of my reactions, I refuse to allow reaction unless granted permission. The previous time in modified suspension giving me the strength to control myself did I dose during this time? I feel rested as my thoughts become clear. I feel euphoria of success though I release no pleasure. My power and strength are mine to give to my teacher. I am passing the test.

Some where in the experience of strength I missed the entrance of my teacher into my atmosphere. I am alerted to my teachers presence when the cane begins a familiar rhythm across my back. The machine continues it journey with the additional cadence of the cane. I do not react. I am silent, but the pain increases in my clit, I am my teachers possession and I will not fail this test. I am glorious in being the possession. I am fulfilled in this quest. I am complete. The machine is stopped and my clit is released. I feel metal and hear the cutting of my corset as it is pulled from my body. My breasts released from their bounds but my body still held motionless upon the bench. I am still exposed.

I feel my teacher behind me caressing my butt. I feel the eyes admiring my openness the machine has provided. I feel his fingers trace the marks of the cane and then the sensation of a human mouth exploring my most private places. This touch is hard to resist, the building orgasm within me almost to much to resist and as I hear the words, the command to release my orgasm, I almost miss the opportunity. Unbelieving the words I have longed to hear, my body responds into ecstasy and then complete exhaustion and peace.

“You passed, my dear.” The teacher says.

This is the phrase I have waited for. I know what my reward will be and I lay upon the bench waiting for the end of my journey. I am my teachers possession, my body is for my teachers enjoyment and I peacefully wait to finish my processing.