Our Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

Archive for December, 2011

The Key is Communication

Domestic Discipline is a chain of command lifestyle. Together we have organized our life to a rhythm or ideal that suits us. This lifestyle suits our needs and packages our lives neatly. Communication and discipline work hand in hand to unify us.


Communication is not my strong suit. I am not a talker. I prefer a white screen or pen and paper to communicate with rather than an interacting human conversation. There is a reason that this form of communication is most comfortable for me. As a child when I opened my mouth and exerted my ideas I was often wrote off as crazy, foolish or being wrong in my ideas because of my youth. Therefore instead of being chastised or criticized for my audible voice I found the secrecy of pen to paper much safer than the ridiculing ears of my elders.


I still find talking to a screen or piece of paper much easier than talking to my mate. I love my head of household. He does not chastise me or criticize my ideas. As a matter of fact he is exactly the opposite of my previous elders. He loves to hear my ideas and my voice, he appreciates my observation and ideas about life, spirituality, politics or folks we meet. Yet I do not find comfort in speaking audibly often.


So how do I communicate with him and how does this lifestyle work if I am not a talker. It did not work for a while. I chose to remain quiet and the feelings began to boil within. I became stuck and although I followed the rules and did as I was told my lack of communication brought out a demon within me.


I had to find my audible words. I had to stop stuttering and rethinking every word and blurt out my feelings and or ideas. I had to trust that I without rereading and editing every syllable of thought was capable of a true conversation. Domestic Discipline helped bring this work to a steady completion. My DH is the Head of Household but my communication with him must be audible it is a rule. I can not write my thoughts and ideas into a blog or a statue on Facebook and expect him to have time to read or wait for him to find my idea. I have to audibly tell him. That is my responsibility in this relationship I must talk.


His head of household position means he must have knowledge of my ideas at all times. Audible conversation is the only way I can timely assert my ideas and let him know my thoughts. We have found a way through Domestic Discipline to make my audible words a key to our marriage and lifestyle.


Guilty of Topping from the Bottom



I received a harsh spanking the other night. I was shocked. I erroneously thought this was foreplay, a warm-up spanking to kinky sex. I was wrong. My assumption was quickly corrected as DH continued to spank me with out the playful banter and rubbing that occurs during a spanking that is meant to stimulate.


I am a pretty good girl, I do not break our simple rules and I stay on the straight and narrow. I have had difficulty communicating and we have been working on that so spanking has been more frequent as of late. Since my non-communication to us so close to a breaking point and bringing about unwanted change in our dynamic.


DH came to a change in his dominance. He let me know how I top from the bottom and it will no longer be allowed. He has taken full charge now. Through my tears and listening to him with full attention on I have become completely aware of the error of my ways. This girl no longer just tolerates when DH touches and exerts his dominance throughout the day. This girl now stops writing or what ever I am doing. I smile and say Thank You making sure he knows I am gracious for the time he takes through out the day to ensure our dynamic and lifestyle. 




I have read two blogs this morning both about relationships. The first one was about growth in a relationship and communication. The second was about being in love and letting that love go. Both were in context of a D’s relationship. These blogs of course made for powerful thought and ideas.


I am having one of those days. The days where you just don’t feel very submissive, in all honesty I did not wake up feeling that way. It was triggered by DH and his cranky mood. He woke up uncomfortable and had to leave our truck early altering our routine. I admit it was nice to make coffee and have the control of the truck and the dogs to myself.


I told him he was channeling a grumpy old man very well this morning. He did not like my observation. He has though changed his demeanor some what and is in a better mood now. He also informed me that the dogs are getting a special treat later. This code means I will be put through the submissive paces tonight or later this afternoon.


I really expected to feel unexcited or disinterested about this proclamation. I expected to feel and think, “I am not wanting to be submissive”, but guess what I am excited and interested. My own mood changed immediately with his proclamation. I have switched back to being submissive to him immediately.


This is growth in our relationship. He switched off the grouchy old man and turned on the loving dominant. I turned off the rebellious bitch and became the loving submissive. It took just a moment. Are we suddenly listening to each other better? Did the past month of my rebellion lead to better communication between us? Did the journey, that almost tore us apart, actually make us stronger?


I believe that it did. Somewhere in the journey of not communicating at all to communicating exactly how we felt growth happened. I hated that month it was emotionally painful and terrifying. I am glad it is over, but I am so thankful for the lesson we both received from it.  


My Girl

“It is time to feed.” I called out to her. She comes to me not questioning. I sit at the foot of our bed. My breasts heavy with anticipation of her mouth, my nipples dance and begin to glisten with desire. I watch her disrobe but I stop her and tell her to leave on her garter, nylons and heels. Her ass looks heavenly framed by the lace and nylons her calves tight in her heels. She is a vision of sex and beauty.


She curls her form beside me, those fabulous long legs resting so gracefully upon the bed she faces me and lays across me. Her hair is long and beautiful. It lays across my knees as her mouth finds one of my nipples. I groan with pleasure as I feel and watch my magnificent creature feed at my breast. She closes her eyes and takes in all that is me, the warm flowing milk filling her. Her teeth bite and knead me softly as an orgasm builds within me. I stroke her long beautiful hair.


She opens her eyes to my gaze and I nod my approval to feed at the other breast that is waiting her warm mouth. She again repeats her actions and teases me with those glorious teeth. I admire the lipstick rings and teeth marks on my freshly drained breast. She knows her place and how to please me.


She looks once again into my eyes and I nod my approval for her to finish. My breasts now drained of the fluid that presses within them. Two lipstick rings on each with matching teeth marks I am satiated of my need to nurture my pet. She waits patiently standing now those long legs perfectly formed and framed within her stockings.


My hunger now must be taken care of her beautiful tight ass so inviting, so warm. “Turn around” I tell her and I admire the marks of my crop across her buttocks. Should I use the crop again so soon? I let my hand caress the marks and she shivers. “Turn around.’ I say again and she complies facing me.


“Kneel” I command. I lay back and hook my heels to the bed run. Opening my legs wide to my nakedness she knows what I want.


Gently she separates my lips with her fingers. Delicately probing with her fingers my inner self she finds my clit and expertly begins to work it with her tongue. To tease her I yawn loudly as though bored. She reacts by adding a finger to my inner walls and begins to toy with my clit harder and with added energy. Her skill at knowing my needs makes her my perfect pet.


Without cue from me she begins to nibble my clit between her aggressive tongue circling my pure womanhood. I feel her loose herself in her desire. She is now in her lesbian zone drinking our mingling juices, dipping her tongue and mouth to my ass and back to my clit. Running her tongue inside with her fingers, suddenly I explode in a beautiful orgasm. I flood her face and she works to keep up with the flowing glory of my orgasm. Her eyes smile with pleasure at the end of the experience she knows she has done well.


I pull her up to me she lays directly upon me as we kiss. Our bodies together massaging each other as we kiss with a passion of fire, we lay there her on top of me her weight and beauty flirting with giving me yet another orgasm. She takes the initiative now, knowing as my loving pet she is allowed such pleasure. She sits astraddle me. One beautiful legs on either side of my hips, I look up at my beautiful girl, her face still glistening from my wetness. I begin to massage her ass and I feel the welts of the crop. My mark upon her body and her soul, she smiles down at me. She is proud to belong to me and I feel her own wetness against my skin. She resembles a puppy waiting for permission for a special treat.


“Sit upon my face.” I instruct. As she moves her body up mine I stop her wetness over my breasts. I gaze at the shaved slit before dazzling in the wonder of her body. I caress her ass again and run my fingers inside looking up to the pleasure filled face of my girl. I cup my own breast and move a nipple into her folds where my fingers had been the sensation so warm and wet. I feel myself building another orgasm as I cup my other breast and move the nipple inside her. Watching with pride as her ecstasy builds, I let her continue her journey to straddle my face.


My nipples begin to harden as they cool in the air and her juices dry upon them. My fingers begin to pull her apart exposing her to me. I watch her expressions change as she moans with pleasure and with pain as my finger nails dig into her. My girl, my little pain slut digs her finger into and around the bars of our headboard.


She responds with a gentle rocking as my tongue finds her. I circle her ass with my fingers and probe her. She moans in pleasure as my teeth bite into her dainty lips and her rocking movement pulls them taught against my teeth. Increasing her pain sensation, she loves this. Her wetness is flooding my face and I quickly insert my tongue deep within her as she cries out in an earth shattering orgasm.


“Thank you, Mistress” She says softly.


Gently kissing me now cleaning herself from my face.

Taking My Submission

My communication skills have been lacking. I have to credit to my DH he has been diligently making sure I communicate the last few nights. My bottom is sore and I have a sneaking hunch this weekend it will get a lot sorer.


My biggest fault is not discussing my feelings. I bottle them unwilling to admit them to myself or to him. Then this whole cycle of depression, anger and frustration begins we grow apart and then have to struggle to reconnect, which means I have to start talking. I am a quiet soul I do not ramble on for hours discussing everything I see or think. Being that as it is I choose what I do speak about carefully. The words matter and are important, yet I leave out the really big things.


There lays the problem the big things. As my butt was spanked last night for stewing my DH said, “He is guilty of not discussing things that bother him either and that he would also try harder to be better about it.” Yet he stews for shorter periods of time than I do and his frustration does not last for a month at a time. He thinks about it, makes a decision and that is that or we discuss and make a decision. He is a team player in all parts of his life including me in everything.


My children’s welfare was put in jeopardy financially by my ex-husband and mines past neglect of a financial crisis. The arrangement we have between us is to ensure their needs are met. When the situation began to unfold into a second crisis and threaten my children’s needs. I immediately went into stealth mode not talking but thinking about what I could do to increase income and security for my children. That is not a bad thing but when those thoughts are not shared with DH and I stew with perceived conversation instead of actual conversation I do not give him the opportunity to discuss ideas and help find the solution.


I know why I kept silent. I love our DD household. I was afraid that discussing my need to make money and the possibility of coming off the truck would threaten that dynamic. I was afraid that miscommunication would occur and I would end up ruining our dynamic. During this time though of internal strife I was submissive as a robot but not feeling submissive at all and while trying to prevent upsetting our dynamic I did exactly that. I upset the dynamic.


I am very submissive today. The spankings that have occurred lately have been well placed and my backside is still red and sore. I know tonight I will probably receive yet another funny thing is I look forward to it as much as I dread it. I look forward to the communication it brings forth. I look forward to the connection. I look forward to giving my submission and my DH’s acceptance of  that gift.

Spanking for Emotional Clarity a Question



I saw a cartoon today, a spanking cartoon that brought up an issue for me. In the cartoon the Dominant says “I know you want this spanking to stop but I am not hearing you give me a good reason for me to stop. This is about honesty and until you have learned to be honest this spanking will continue.” Although I have that in quotes I paraphrased the line from memory.


Wow! When I first saw that line I thought I would love to hear my DH say that to me. Make me be honest with myself and with him. Then a question popped into my mind, is expecting my DH to spank me until I become completely emotionally honest with myself and with him a healthy thing. Psychologically is this healthy that I would want or think that a spanking could or would bring me to be honest with myself and with him?


I am a writer and during the past month all areas of my life have suffered while I was emotionally stagnate in anger and frustration. I performed my submissive duties much as a robot doing exactly as told. My sex drive dwindled and since I am a naturally quiet person everyday my DH knew I was in deep thought most days but did not know why. Of course soon he grew tired of making love to a robot with the emotional out put of Rosy Palm and her five sisters. For a good month though I got away with me deep concentration and robotic behavior.


I am finally working my way through all the anger and frustration of my situation. I did get the punishment spanking I deserved and it was enough to connect us and I began talking. The question remains though am I wrong to expect my DH to spank me until I become honest with myself. Honest with him yes a spanking is do, but what if your not being honest with yourself, is it right to expect a spanking to clear things up for you emotionally so you know what is going on with yourself?


What are some other opinions about this?



Relationships are not always easy. A Domestic Discipline marriage is not immune to struggle. Does being a DD relationship make those struggles easier? That could be debated just as much as any political hot potato that currently exists. I am not going to debate that issue. I think for us DD keeps us talking, keeps the communication open and a solid place for us to return and reconnect.


This past month or longer I have been doing as asked and been a good wife, but I lost my sex drive somewhere amid the stress of life. Part of it I am confused in my head and heart. I so want to be near my children and I think this time of year brings that need to a full boil of hot water for me. It is easy to forget the reasons I chose to move into the truck with my husband. The reality that my parenting skills were hampered by a severe depression is easy to put aside. I choose not to think about during this time of struggle.


I have to face reality though. I may be doing really well right now thinking clearly. I am definitely not depressed, but the reason for all this positive change is my DD relationship, the routine of living on the truck with my DH and the clarity of distance. I am a better Mother when I can communicate with my children from a distance and have clarity on the situations they present to me. My children are benefiting from my clarity and common sense. I am a better Mother in this circumstance.


Let us see where am I going with this. I am experiencing anger. I become so angry at DH for listening to my ideas and the change in our plan then gives credible reasons or discussion that are good for sticking with our current plan and goals. I know deep in my heart he is right, but does that make it easier? Nope. I am angry with my wander lust spirit. I don’t understand why that is such a big part of me. During this time of year I cuss that side of me instead of embracing and enjoying that part of myself.


Last night after discussing my feelings and stuff in general I was the recipient of a spanking. I knew I needed it. I submitted without qualms of my submissiveness, although I did not feel submissive. DH did not hold back and it hurt. I raised up a few times and begged for him to stop then quickly reminded myself that fighting him was not submission and reassumed my position. I never let go of my anger though. I could not let the tears flow and the tension release. I submitted to him in other ways also and I experienced an increase in sex drive, yet my anger remains in place.


I have tools to deal with this self-destructive anger. I am using them I am actively utilizing them now, but for the past month I have been stewing instead. Maybe a daily spanking is in order? Combine the psychological tools, spiritual tools and the DD relationship tools and get us through this. Good news I am communicating and writing so that is a good positive sign that on my more personal side I am doing my part to work through this.