Our Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

Archive for October, 2011

My Teachers Possession

The shackles on my wrists pulled my arms up and away from my back. A chain secure to them attached to the ceiling. My neck is secured by a posture collar and this too is chained to the ceiling. I am exhausted. I am beyond pain though, standing here as I have.

I agreed to this test. Silence, darkness no concept of time I have agreed to this test in a moment of lust. I had willingly accepted the shackles and the collar, although I knew not exactly what the test would consist of it never occurred that the test would be an eternity of stress. The temperature of my existence has change from comfortable to cold, from extreme pain of standing on my tiptoes to relieve my stressed neck and wrists. I have experienced defeat and victory to survive what I assume is a nighttime tested in extreme bounds.

I had cried, laughed and screamed during this time. My emotional torrent is exhausted now. I have nothing left. When my teacher returns will I be able to speak? I wonder will there be questions or duties or will I be allowed to rest? Is the release from these bounds the end of my test or will there be more? I entertain the questions knowing that I will not know the answers until my teacher returns. I have agreed to this test.

I did not hear footsteps or see a change in the darkness. All I felt was the change in atmosphere the change of complete solitude to the pressure of my teachers presence. I feel the chains begin to release slowly. My arms are released to rest the handcuffs on my corseted back. The chain attached to the collar though stays. I must remain on my toes, but I am able to shift my weight slightly. I say nothing. Listening instead waiting for words or sounds I am given none. The teacher’s presence leaves me and my atmosphere is yet again solitude.

I am alone in still darkness. No trace of time affects me now for time has no matter. The test continues and I stand alone. No pain just relief to shift my weight a little.

The teacher’s presence fills my space again. A looming creature in possession of my life now, I care not when the test will end. I only want to please my teacher. I have uttered not a sound, I have only shifted my weight a little and my reward is the release of the chain attached to my collar. I do not quaver my position instead I slowly bring my bare heels to the floor and I stand straight my wrists resting on my buttocks.

The teacher strokes my face but is silent. The hands caress the collar and then follow my shoulders, softly the hands find my corset and then gently caress the tight muscles of my ass. The hands move down my thighs and calves. Then the hands are removed from my body. I have no emotion to this sensation and my mind has enjoyed the caress, but I do not react. I stand still waiting for words, but there are none.

I do hear finally the gentle snap of a leash to my collar yet again. Curiosity stirs but yet again I want to know what is to happen, but I really do not care at the moment I am the property of my teacher. I hear a switch but I am still in darkness and a gentle hum of an electric motor begins to purr. I feel a straw against my lips and I gladly accept the gift of water. I drink just a few sips and the straw is removed from my mouth. I let it go willingly. The soft tug of the leash and I follow just a few steps forward and I am halted. My teachers hands instruct the back of my knees to kneel and a cushion of vinyl planks greats my knees and shins. I am led by my collar to lay upon another cushioned plank my body. My ankles and thighs are locked into place another belt secures my body to the plank across my corset. Then my collar is secured to the bench I am again immobile. My body exposed at the back This position has me opened for a purpose, but I dare not allow my mind to wonder.

I feel my clit being pulled from its protective folds of my vulva. My teacher is skilled in removing my clit from its protection. The teeth of the clamp I was not expecting, but I do not react to the sensation of my clit being stretch away from me and secured to the bench as well. The purr of the motor still accentuates this still place, but I do not wonder what is next, I am a possession, I have no will. I am the property of my teacher and my complete trust is that my teachers will is my destiny.

The intrusion of tip into my vagina is not human, I can determine that in that it does not give to my tightness. It slowly pushes it way inside me and then the next tip again not human pushes into my anus. I am double penetrated and the non human tips begin to spin inside me slowly burrowing deeper and deeper into me. I am being screwed literally but I do not have pain. Just pressure of the spinning tips inside my body.

The tip in my ass feels invasive I wonder if it will tear me apart will I survive this? This thought does enter my mind will my teacher inadvertently or purposefully end my life? Do I care? No I am my teacher’s possession and if my life is to end here I am happy for this test.

The tips quit the rotational screwing, apparently reaching the destination with in me. A moment passes and I hear another switch. The tugging of the tips exiting me and then the pushing of them entering me again each time a little further out and back in. My G spot is being tormented by the sensation of double penetration. I feel the build of a climax but I have self control and I know not to release the building orgasm. My teacher will tell me when and then the teacher leaves and I am alone again in room this time being steadily aroused by a machine.

The tips continue the task I build to orgasm over and over again but I do not grant my body the release. The pain in my clit a constant thought but it subsides and builds as do the orgasms. I am in complete control of my reactions, I refuse to allow reaction unless granted permission. The previous time in modified suspension giving me the strength to control myself did I dose during this time? I feel rested as my thoughts become clear. I feel euphoria of success though I release no pleasure. My power and strength are mine to give to my teacher. I am passing the test.

Some where in the experience of strength I missed the entrance of my teacher into my atmosphere. I am alerted to my teachers presence when the cane begins a familiar rhythm across my back. The machine continues it journey with the additional cadence of the cane. I do not react. I am silent, but the pain increases in my clit, I am my teachers possession and I will not fail this test. I am glorious in being the possession. I am fulfilled in this quest. I am complete. The machine is stopped and my clit is released. I feel metal and hear the cutting of my corset as it is pulled from my body. My breasts released from their bounds but my body still held motionless upon the bench. I am still exposed.

I feel my teacher behind me caressing my butt. I feel the eyes admiring my openness the machine has provided. I feel his fingers trace the marks of the cane and then the sensation of a human mouth exploring my most private places. This touch is hard to resist, the building orgasm within me almost to much to resist and as I hear the words, the command to release my orgasm, I almost miss the opportunity. Unbelieving the words I have longed to hear, my body responds into ecstasy and then complete exhaustion and peace.

“You passed, my dear.” The teacher says.

This is the phrase I have waited for. I know what my reward will be and I lay upon the bench waiting for the end of my journey. I am my teachers possession, my body is for my teachers enjoyment and I peacefully wait to finish my processing.

Domestic Discipline or BDSM Ut Oh!?

I don’t know why I have been so serious on this blog. Maybe it was the growth chart of domestic discipline lifestyle. Incorporating the new ideals and seeing if the shoe was a true fit so to speak. Well it is a good fit and yes we have tweeked it some to fit our particular marriage. I guess there will always be questions about this lifestyle and how it works, but do questions always need answers?

 One such question that has been on my mind; should I look forward to being spanked? In a domestic discipline lifestyle spankings are not meant to be pleasurable. So in the essence of purity to Domestic Discipline, no, I should not look forward to a spanking. Do we spank for pleasure? Yes Is the pleasure spanking different from the discipline spanking? No it hurts I cry we unite. Do I misbehave to get a pleasure spanking? No.

I suppose some of you are scratching your heads trying to figure that at. Believe me I don’t understand it all the time either. Am I nuts I have to ask myself? The connection is the point. There is a connection to my submission and the spankings. It has a lot to do with cleansing my spirit and him releasing frustrations. We cleanse each other through the experience. A shared experience of pain and pleasure uniting us in a harmony of thought and desire that unites us in this experience.

I know soon I will be the receiver of a spanking. Gagged to keep my cries muffled, submitting to the strikes of his hand and eventually the spoon to my bottom. I will feel the fire burn on my butt cheeks as the emotional release builds within me. My will to submit to him taking me through to the opening of my spiritual cleansing to the tears of emptying my doubts, fears and pent up emotions. He in accepting my submission and beating my butt to a rosy red glow, feeling the warmth rise to him and watching the marks rise on my skin from the eventual spoon he will use. He will release the stress that builds within him. We use each other this way. We unite through the experience.

Is this Domestic Discipline or BDSM? I think this is what Domestic Discipline is for us. He is the leader of our family. I am the nurturer I release myself to his command and follow his guidance. I trust him with my heart my soul and our financial, physical and emotional well being. I know what he does is what is best for both of us. If he needs to spank me to release the tension then I am the instrument to receive that from him. I take it and enjoy my ability to help him.

 

I am not a disrespectful woman. Yes I get snippy and I can whine but I don’t do these things in public and he spanks me when I do deserve it, but there is another element as I addressed above that is the connection. Is this maintenance I suppose but maintenance is not only for the woman. It is also for the head of household. It is the unity of an experience and the confirmation of the alignment of our house and our relationship.

Submission and Assertiveness’ for Career How do you Balance?

 

I am having a big struggle with this. I have seen a lot of other submissive bloggers have this same problem. Therefore I already know I am not alone in this. My situation is a bit unique in I never wanted a career. I still don’t want a career. Survival though necessitates that I make money, so I have a career. The problem is assertiveness gets in the way of my submission.

I am a natural submissive. Submissive is my comfort zone. I am not a go getter, follow me or go to hell type of person. I am a follower. I have reached a point in my writing though that I have to be assertive. I have to put myself out there talk let folks know I am alive intelligent and someone they want to read. This means high activity on all social media. Working on my writing blog daily and talking to folks. Watching statistics being friendly, warm and out there.

How does that interfere with my submissive self? Well easy really. I am comfortable sitting back and being quiet. I am comfortable letting DH deal with people and him and I working together. In order to promote myself and my novel I have to reach out. I have to be active. I have to think and interact. I have to build a foundation of readers. After a day of being on the computer and being a people person, I am exhausted.

What I want is to be used. I want my DH to just use me hard and take control. I want him to take all the stress of reaching so far outside myself away. The only way I can communicate that need is to tell him. Since I am so far inside the internet I loose track of him and where he is with his day. The playful banter is lost between us and I don’t know what his mood is. So I don’t say anything for that reason. There is the other reason that saying I need you to man handle me is topping from the bottom and I don’t like doing that.

How do you handle this? What do you do to get past the demands of life to your submissive person? Do you switch it off easy or is it a struggle?