Our Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

The Key is Communication

Domestic Discipline is a chain of command lifestyle. Together we have organized our life to a rhythm or ideal that suits us. This lifestyle suits our needs and packages our lives neatly. Communication and discipline work hand in hand to unify us.


Communication is not my strong suit. I am not a talker. I prefer a white screen or pen and paper to communicate with rather than an interacting human conversation. There is a reason that this form of communication is most comfortable for me. As a child when I opened my mouth and exerted my ideas I was often wrote off as crazy, foolish or being wrong in my ideas because of my youth. Therefore instead of being chastised or criticized for my audible voice I found the secrecy of pen to paper much safer than the ridiculing ears of my elders.


I still find talking to a screen or piece of paper much easier than talking to my mate. I love my head of household. He does not chastise me or criticize my ideas. As a matter of fact he is exactly the opposite of my previous elders. He loves to hear my ideas and my voice, he appreciates my observation and ideas about life, spirituality, politics or folks we meet. Yet I do not find comfort in speaking audibly often.


So how do I communicate with him and how does this lifestyle work if I am not a talker. It did not work for a while. I chose to remain quiet and the feelings began to boil within. I became stuck and although I followed the rules and did as I was told my lack of communication brought out a demon within me.


I had to find my audible words. I had to stop stuttering and rethinking every word and blurt out my feelings and or ideas. I had to trust that I without rereading and editing every syllable of thought was capable of a true conversation. Domestic Discipline helped bring this work to a steady completion. My DH is the Head of Household but my communication with him must be audible it is a rule. I can not write my thoughts and ideas into a blog or a statue on Facebook and expect him to have time to read or wait for him to find my idea. I have to audibly tell him. That is my responsibility in this relationship I must talk.


His head of household position means he must have knowledge of my ideas at all times. Audible conversation is the only way I can timely assert my ideas and let him know my thoughts. We have found a way through Domestic Discipline to make my audible words a key to our marriage and lifestyle.




I received a harsh spanking the other night. I was shocked. I erroneously thought this was foreplay, a warm-up spanking to kinky sex. I was wrong. My assumption was quickly corrected as DH continued to spank me with out the playful banter and rubbing that occurs during a spanking that is meant to stimulate.


I am a pretty good girl, I do not break our simple rules and I stay on the straight and narrow. I have had difficulty communicating and we have been working on that so spanking has been more frequent as of late. Since my non-communication to us so close to a breaking point and bringing about unwanted change in our dynamic.


DH came to a change in his dominance. He let me know how I top from the bottom and it will no longer be allowed. He has taken full charge now. Through my tears and listening to him with full attention on I have become completely aware of the error of my ways. This girl no longer just tolerates when DH touches and exerts his dominance throughout the day. This girl now stops writing or what ever I am doing. I smile and say Thank You making sure he knows I am gracious for the time he takes through out the day to ensure our dynamic and lifestyle. 




I have read two blogs this morning both about relationships. The first one was about growth in a relationship and communication. The second was about being in love and letting that love go. Both were in context of a D’s relationship. These blogs of course made for powerful thought and ideas.


I am having one of those days. The days where you just don’t feel very submissive, in all honesty I did not wake up feeling that way. It was triggered by DH and his cranky mood. He woke up uncomfortable and had to leave our truck early altering our routine. I admit it was nice to make coffee and have the control of the truck and the dogs to myself.


I told him he was channeling a grumpy old man very well this morning. He did not like my observation. He has though changed his demeanor some what and is in a better mood now. He also informed me that the dogs are getting a special treat later. This code means I will be put through the submissive paces tonight or later this afternoon.


I really expected to feel unexcited or disinterested about this proclamation. I expected to feel and think, “I am not wanting to be submissive”, but guess what I am excited and interested. My own mood changed immediately with his proclamation. I have switched back to being submissive to him immediately.


This is growth in our relationship. He switched off the grouchy old man and turned on the loving dominant. I turned off the rebellious bitch and became the loving submissive. It took just a moment. Are we suddenly listening to each other better? Did the past month of my rebellion lead to better communication between us? Did the journey, that almost tore us apart, actually make us stronger?


I believe that it did. Somewhere in the journey of not communicating at all to communicating exactly how we felt growth happened. I hated that month it was emotionally painful and terrifying. I am glad it is over, but I am so thankful for the lesson we both received from it.  


My Girl

“It is time to feed.” I called out to her. She comes to me not questioning. I sit at the foot of our bed. My breasts heavy with anticipation of her mouth, my nipples dance and begin to glisten with desire. I watch her disrobe but I stop her and tell her to leave on her garter, nylons and heels. Her ass looks heavenly framed by the lace and nylons her calves tight in her heels. She is a vision of sex and beauty.


She curls her form beside me, those fabulous long legs resting so gracefully upon the bed she faces me and lays across me. Her hair is long and beautiful. It lays across my knees as her mouth finds one of my nipples. I groan with pleasure as I feel and watch my magnificent creature feed at my breast. She closes her eyes and takes in all that is me, the warm flowing milk filling her. Her teeth bite and knead me softly as an orgasm builds within me. I stroke her long beautiful hair.


She opens her eyes to my gaze and I nod my approval to feed at the other breast that is waiting her warm mouth. She again repeats her actions and teases me with those glorious teeth. I admire the lipstick rings and teeth marks on my freshly drained breast. She knows her place and how to please me.


She looks once again into my eyes and I nod my approval for her to finish. My breasts now drained of the fluid that presses within them. Two lipstick rings on each with matching teeth marks I am satiated of my need to nurture my pet. She waits patiently standing now those long legs perfectly formed and framed within her stockings.


My hunger now must be taken care of her beautiful tight ass so inviting, so warm. “Turn around” I tell her and I admire the marks of my crop across her buttocks. Should I use the crop again so soon? I let my hand caress the marks and she shivers. “Turn around.’ I say again and she complies facing me.


“Kneel” I command. I lay back and hook my heels to the bed run. Opening my legs wide to my nakedness she knows what I want.


Gently she separates my lips with her fingers. Delicately probing with her fingers my inner self she finds my clit and expertly begins to work it with her tongue. To tease her I yawn loudly as though bored. She reacts by adding a finger to my inner walls and begins to toy with my clit harder and with added energy. Her skill at knowing my needs makes her my perfect pet.


Without cue from me she begins to nibble my clit between her aggressive tongue circling my pure womanhood. I feel her loose herself in her desire. She is now in her lesbian zone drinking our mingling juices, dipping her tongue and mouth to my ass and back to my clit. Running her tongue inside with her fingers, suddenly I explode in a beautiful orgasm. I flood her face and she works to keep up with the flowing glory of my orgasm. Her eyes smile with pleasure at the end of the experience she knows she has done well.


I pull her up to me she lays directly upon me as we kiss. Our bodies together massaging each other as we kiss with a passion of fire, we lay there her on top of me her weight and beauty flirting with giving me yet another orgasm. She takes the initiative now, knowing as my loving pet she is allowed such pleasure. She sits astraddle me. One beautiful legs on either side of my hips, I look up at my beautiful girl, her face still glistening from my wetness. I begin to massage her ass and I feel the welts of the crop. My mark upon her body and her soul, she smiles down at me. She is proud to belong to me and I feel her own wetness against my skin. She resembles a puppy waiting for permission for a special treat.


“Sit upon my face.” I instruct. As she moves her body up mine I stop her wetness over my breasts. I gaze at the shaved slit before dazzling in the wonder of her body. I caress her ass again and run my fingers inside looking up to the pleasure filled face of my girl. I cup my own breast and move a nipple into her folds where my fingers had been the sensation so warm and wet. I feel myself building another orgasm as I cup my other breast and move the nipple inside her. Watching with pride as her ecstasy builds, I let her continue her journey to straddle my face.


My nipples begin to harden as they cool in the air and her juices dry upon them. My fingers begin to pull her apart exposing her to me. I watch her expressions change as she moans with pleasure and with pain as my finger nails dig into her. My girl, my little pain slut digs her finger into and around the bars of our headboard.


She responds with a gentle rocking as my tongue finds her. I circle her ass with my fingers and probe her. She moans in pleasure as my teeth bite into her dainty lips and her rocking movement pulls them taught against my teeth. Increasing her pain sensation, she loves this. Her wetness is flooding my face and I quickly insert my tongue deep within her as she cries out in an earth shattering orgasm.


“Thank you, Mistress” She says softly.


Gently kissing me now cleaning herself from my face.

Taking My Submission

My communication skills have been lacking. I have to credit to my DH he has been diligently making sure I communicate the last few nights. My bottom is sore and I have a sneaking hunch this weekend it will get a lot sorer.


My biggest fault is not discussing my feelings. I bottle them unwilling to admit them to myself or to him. Then this whole cycle of depression, anger and frustration begins we grow apart and then have to struggle to reconnect, which means I have to start talking. I am a quiet soul I do not ramble on for hours discussing everything I see or think. Being that as it is I choose what I do speak about carefully. The words matter and are important, yet I leave out the really big things.


There lays the problem the big things. As my butt was spanked last night for stewing my DH said, “He is guilty of not discussing things that bother him either and that he would also try harder to be better about it.” Yet he stews for shorter periods of time than I do and his frustration does not last for a month at a time. He thinks about it, makes a decision and that is that or we discuss and make a decision. He is a team player in all parts of his life including me in everything.


My children’s welfare was put in jeopardy financially by my ex-husband and mines past neglect of a financial crisis. The arrangement we have between us is to ensure their needs are met. When the situation began to unfold into a second crisis and threaten my children’s needs. I immediately went into stealth mode not talking but thinking about what I could do to increase income and security for my children. That is not a bad thing but when those thoughts are not shared with DH and I stew with perceived conversation instead of actual conversation I do not give him the opportunity to discuss ideas and help find the solution.


I know why I kept silent. I love our DD household. I was afraid that discussing my need to make money and the possibility of coming off the truck would threaten that dynamic. I was afraid that miscommunication would occur and I would end up ruining our dynamic. During this time though of internal strife I was submissive as a robot but not feeling submissive at all and while trying to prevent upsetting our dynamic I did exactly that. I upset the dynamic.


I am very submissive today. The spankings that have occurred lately have been well placed and my backside is still red and sore. I know tonight I will probably receive yet another funny thing is I look forward to it as much as I dread it. I look forward to the communication it brings forth. I look forward to the connection. I look forward to giving my submission and my DH’s acceptance of  that gift.



I saw a cartoon today, a spanking cartoon that brought up an issue for me. In the cartoon the Dominant says “I know you want this spanking to stop but I am not hearing you give me a good reason for me to stop. This is about honesty and until you have learned to be honest this spanking will continue.” Although I have that in quotes I paraphrased the line from memory.


Wow! When I first saw that line I thought I would love to hear my DH say that to me. Make me be honest with myself and with him. Then a question popped into my mind, is expecting my DH to spank me until I become completely emotionally honest with myself and with him a healthy thing. Psychologically is this healthy that I would want or think that a spanking could or would bring me to be honest with myself and with him?


I am a writer and during the past month all areas of my life have suffered while I was emotionally stagnate in anger and frustration. I performed my submissive duties much as a robot doing exactly as told. My sex drive dwindled and since I am a naturally quiet person everyday my DH knew I was in deep thought most days but did not know why. Of course soon he grew tired of making love to a robot with the emotional out put of Rosy Palm and her five sisters. For a good month though I got away with me deep concentration and robotic behavior.


I am finally working my way through all the anger and frustration of my situation. I did get the punishment spanking I deserved and it was enough to connect us and I began talking. The question remains though am I wrong to expect my DH to spank me until I become honest with myself. Honest with him yes a spanking is do, but what if your not being honest with yourself, is it right to expect a spanking to clear things up for you emotionally so you know what is going on with yourself?


What are some other opinions about this?



Relationships are not always easy. A Domestic Discipline marriage is not immune to struggle. Does being a DD relationship make those struggles easier? That could be debated just as much as any political hot potato that currently exists. I am not going to debate that issue. I think for us DD keeps us talking, keeps the communication open and a solid place for us to return and reconnect.


This past month or longer I have been doing as asked and been a good wife, but I lost my sex drive somewhere amid the stress of life. Part of it I am confused in my head and heart. I so want to be near my children and I think this time of year brings that need to a full boil of hot water for me. It is easy to forget the reasons I chose to move into the truck with my husband. The reality that my parenting skills were hampered by a severe depression is easy to put aside. I choose not to think about during this time of struggle.


I have to face reality though. I may be doing really well right now thinking clearly. I am definitely not depressed, but the reason for all this positive change is my DD relationship, the routine of living on the truck with my DH and the clarity of distance. I am a better Mother when I can communicate with my children from a distance and have clarity on the situations they present to me. My children are benefiting from my clarity and common sense. I am a better Mother in this circumstance.


Let us see where am I going with this. I am experiencing anger. I become so angry at DH for listening to my ideas and the change in our plan then gives credible reasons or discussion that are good for sticking with our current plan and goals. I know deep in my heart he is right, but does that make it easier? Nope. I am angry with my wander lust spirit. I don’t understand why that is such a big part of me. During this time of year I cuss that side of me instead of embracing and enjoying that part of myself.


Last night after discussing my feelings and stuff in general I was the recipient of a spanking. I knew I needed it. I submitted without qualms of my submissiveness, although I did not feel submissive. DH did not hold back and it hurt. I raised up a few times and begged for him to stop then quickly reminded myself that fighting him was not submission and reassumed my position. I never let go of my anger though. I could not let the tears flow and the tension release. I submitted to him in other ways also and I experienced an increase in sex drive, yet my anger remains in place.


I have tools to deal with this self-destructive anger. I am using them I am actively utilizing them now, but for the past month I have been stewing instead. Maybe a daily spanking is in order? Combine the psychological tools, spiritual tools and the DD relationship tools and get us through this. Good news I am communicating and writing so that is a good positive sign that on my more personal side I am doing my part to work through this.




His Birthday Spanking

I have been rebellious. Our new addition Stormy a black lab puppy has put stress in our connection time. Regular spanking or love making has taken a back seat to the puppy and her needs. Sleep deprivation was a factor also until I realized our puppy had a bladder infection. I had been getting up with her at least once a night to go outside with her. When you live in a small place like an diesel truck this means I had to get fully dressed take her outside walk her and then bring her back in get undressed and settle her back down to sleep. So 30 minutes at a minimum to care for her needs. When I realized her problem I started her on a half dose of AZO once a day. The problem is clearing and now she has so much energy she needs a lot of exercise, but she sleeps through the night. 

That was one cause for my rebellion. The other was a series of hurt feeling and stress of our financial situation. DH takes care of our financial management, but we still discuss it and I am fully aware of our situation at any given time. I get to feeling useless in my inability to earn money or not make enough of it at the time.

I have published my first novel The Phillamanteca; The Story of Jane a parallel story of how I felt about my life from 2002 through 2008. There is a piece of me in all of the characters and I identify with each one. You can find my published novel available in most ebook formats here. It will also be advertised and available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble sites beginning December 1.  The sales will help us financially as I continue to self promote and the general public realizes my ability to tell a story. To read a selection of my short stories you can go to Teresa Wilkinson The Storyteller. This is also my personal blog outside the domestic discipline lifestyle.

When we began our DD lifestyle I was embarrassed to admit I submit to being spanked and figured it was better to keep this our secret. I never told my vanilla lifestyle friends about my BDSM lifestyle so why would I tell them about this. When I read Laura Doyles book ‘The Surrendered Wife’ I became simultaneously became active in a yahoo group that supports women in this lifestyle ‘The Surrendering Submissive’. I choose to use my erotic fiction alias as my alias for this lifestyle posting.

Everything above is stressful. Living this life and then having to back track because of life changes was extremely stressful on both of us. Living in the vanilla world as a writer and living in the D’s world as someone else is stressful. Yet everyone is complex. No one identifies with anyone completely and this lifestyle is the working blueprint for how our marriage works.

DH had a birthday yesterday. I was not and have not been submissive for a matter of weeks. DH had not pushed me to be submissive, he never does. My submission is my gift to him, if I am feeling less than submissive he respects that. I don’t break our rules so discipline was not a factor. I have just been distant. Yesterday I asked him though how he wanted to celebrate his evening. Of course he wanted to give me his Birthday Spankings. I honored his request and submitted. I wish now I had been able to submit these past few weeks. We are connected again. Because of the puppy he did not take me to tears and the emotional release that brings but he satisfied his need. When he was through I told him that during the spanking I wanted to go the full round. I did not want it to stop until I was crying and talking. That will happen soon, but last night it just wasn’t possible there were too many neglected needs and time was not our friend.

Domestic Discipline is a gift of understanding in our relationship. It is also a learning process. We now know he needs to take me in hand not because I have been bad, but to keep me connected when I let life circumstance hurt me and us. We could have been through this portion of misunderstanding quicker if we had stopped sooner and took care of us. Life is a learning thing though, we make mistakes as a couple and we learn together. I knew I was skirting close to the side of my personality that destroyed my first relationship, but I did not have the energy to stop it.

Happy Birthday to my DH and thank you for the Birthday Spanking.

My Teachers Possession

The shackles on my wrists pulled my arms up and away from my back. A chain secure to them attached to the ceiling. My neck is secured by a posture collar and this too is chained to the ceiling. I am exhausted. I am beyond pain though, standing here as I have.

I agreed to this test. Silence, darkness no concept of time I have agreed to this test in a moment of lust. I had willingly accepted the shackles and the collar, although I knew not exactly what the test would consist of it never occurred that the test would be an eternity of stress. The temperature of my existence has change from comfortable to cold, from extreme pain of standing on my tiptoes to relieve my stressed neck and wrists. I have experienced defeat and victory to survive what I assume is a nighttime tested in extreme bounds.

I had cried, laughed and screamed during this time. My emotional torrent is exhausted now. I have nothing left. When my teacher returns will I be able to speak? I wonder will there be questions or duties or will I be allowed to rest? Is the release from these bounds the end of my test or will there be more? I entertain the questions knowing that I will not know the answers until my teacher returns. I have agreed to this test.

I did not hear footsteps or see a change in the darkness. All I felt was the change in atmosphere the change of complete solitude to the pressure of my teachers presence. I feel the chains begin to release slowly. My arms are released to rest the handcuffs on my corseted back. The chain attached to the collar though stays. I must remain on my toes, but I am able to shift my weight slightly. I say nothing. Listening instead waiting for words or sounds I am given none. The teacher’s presence leaves me and my atmosphere is yet again solitude.

I am alone in still darkness. No trace of time affects me now for time has no matter. The test continues and I stand alone. No pain just relief to shift my weight a little.

The teacher’s presence fills my space again. A looming creature in possession of my life now, I care not when the test will end. I only want to please my teacher. I have uttered not a sound, I have only shifted my weight a little and my reward is the release of the chain attached to my collar. I do not quaver my position instead I slowly bring my bare heels to the floor and I stand straight my wrists resting on my buttocks.

The teacher strokes my face but is silent. The hands caress the collar and then follow my shoulders, softly the hands find my corset and then gently caress the tight muscles of my ass. The hands move down my thighs and calves. Then the hands are removed from my body. I have no emotion to this sensation and my mind has enjoyed the caress, but I do not react. I stand still waiting for words, but there are none.

I do hear finally the gentle snap of a leash to my collar yet again. Curiosity stirs but yet again I want to know what is to happen, but I really do not care at the moment I am the property of my teacher. I hear a switch but I am still in darkness and a gentle hum of an electric motor begins to purr. I feel a straw against my lips and I gladly accept the gift of water. I drink just a few sips and the straw is removed from my mouth. I let it go willingly. The soft tug of the leash and I follow just a few steps forward and I am halted. My teachers hands instruct the back of my knees to kneel and a cushion of vinyl planks greats my knees and shins. I am led by my collar to lay upon another cushioned plank my body. My ankles and thighs are locked into place another belt secures my body to the plank across my corset. Then my collar is secured to the bench I am again immobile. My body exposed at the back This position has me opened for a purpose, but I dare not allow my mind to wonder.

I feel my clit being pulled from its protective folds of my vulva. My teacher is skilled in removing my clit from its protection. The teeth of the clamp I was not expecting, but I do not react to the sensation of my clit being stretch away from me and secured to the bench as well. The purr of the motor still accentuates this still place, but I do not wonder what is next, I am a possession, I have no will. I am the property of my teacher and my complete trust is that my teachers will is my destiny.

The intrusion of tip into my vagina is not human, I can determine that in that it does not give to my tightness. It slowly pushes it way inside me and then the next tip again not human pushes into my anus. I am double penetrated and the non human tips begin to spin inside me slowly burrowing deeper and deeper into me. I am being screwed literally but I do not have pain. Just pressure of the spinning tips inside my body.

The tip in my ass feels invasive I wonder if it will tear me apart will I survive this? This thought does enter my mind will my teacher inadvertently or purposefully end my life? Do I care? No I am my teacher’s possession and if my life is to end here I am happy for this test.

The tips quit the rotational screwing, apparently reaching the destination with in me. A moment passes and I hear another switch. The tugging of the tips exiting me and then the pushing of them entering me again each time a little further out and back in. My G spot is being tormented by the sensation of double penetration. I feel the build of a climax but I have self control and I know not to release the building orgasm. My teacher will tell me when and then the teacher leaves and I am alone again in room this time being steadily aroused by a machine.

The tips continue the task I build to orgasm over and over again but I do not grant my body the release. The pain in my clit a constant thought but it subsides and builds as do the orgasms. I am in complete control of my reactions, I refuse to allow reaction unless granted permission. The previous time in modified suspension giving me the strength to control myself did I dose during this time? I feel rested as my thoughts become clear. I feel euphoria of success though I release no pleasure. My power and strength are mine to give to my teacher. I am passing the test.

Some where in the experience of strength I missed the entrance of my teacher into my atmosphere. I am alerted to my teachers presence when the cane begins a familiar rhythm across my back. The machine continues it journey with the additional cadence of the cane. I do not react. I am silent, but the pain increases in my clit, I am my teachers possession and I will not fail this test. I am glorious in being the possession. I am fulfilled in this quest. I am complete. The machine is stopped and my clit is released. I feel metal and hear the cutting of my corset as it is pulled from my body. My breasts released from their bounds but my body still held motionless upon the bench. I am still exposed.

I feel my teacher behind me caressing my butt. I feel the eyes admiring my openness the machine has provided. I feel his fingers trace the marks of the cane and then the sensation of a human mouth exploring my most private places. This touch is hard to resist, the building orgasm within me almost to much to resist and as I hear the words, the command to release my orgasm, I almost miss the opportunity. Unbelieving the words I have longed to hear, my body responds into ecstasy and then complete exhaustion and peace.

“You passed, my dear.” The teacher says.

This is the phrase I have waited for. I know what my reward will be and I lay upon the bench waiting for the end of my journey. I am my teachers possession, my body is for my teachers enjoyment and I peacefully wait to finish my processing.

I don’t know why I have been so serious on this blog. Maybe it was the growth chart of domestic discipline lifestyle. Incorporating the new ideals and seeing if the shoe was a true fit so to speak. Well it is a good fit and yes we have tweeked it some to fit our particular marriage. I guess there will always be questions about this lifestyle and how it works, but do questions always need answers?

 One such question that has been on my mind; should I look forward to being spanked? In a domestic discipline lifestyle spankings are not meant to be pleasurable. So in the essence of purity to Domestic Discipline, no, I should not look forward to a spanking. Do we spank for pleasure? Yes Is the pleasure spanking different from the discipline spanking? No it hurts I cry we unite. Do I misbehave to get a pleasure spanking? No.

I suppose some of you are scratching your heads trying to figure that at. Believe me I don’t understand it all the time either. Am I nuts I have to ask myself? The connection is the point. There is a connection to my submission and the spankings. It has a lot to do with cleansing my spirit and him releasing frustrations. We cleanse each other through the experience. A shared experience of pain and pleasure uniting us in a harmony of thought and desire that unites us in this experience.

I know soon I will be the receiver of a spanking. Gagged to keep my cries muffled, submitting to the strikes of his hand and eventually the spoon to my bottom. I will feel the fire burn on my butt cheeks as the emotional release builds within me. My will to submit to him taking me through to the opening of my spiritual cleansing to the tears of emptying my doubts, fears and pent up emotions. He in accepting my submission and beating my butt to a rosy red glow, feeling the warmth rise to him and watching the marks rise on my skin from the eventual spoon he will use. He will release the stress that builds within him. We use each other this way. We unite through the experience.

Is this Domestic Discipline or BDSM? I think this is what Domestic Discipline is for us. He is the leader of our family. I am the nurturer I release myself to his command and follow his guidance. I trust him with my heart my soul and our financial, physical and emotional well being. I know what he does is what is best for both of us. If he needs to spank me to release the tension then I am the instrument to receive that from him. I take it and enjoy my ability to help him.


I am not a disrespectful woman. Yes I get snippy and I can whine but I don’t do these things in public and he spanks me when I do deserve it, but there is another element as I addressed above that is the connection. Is this maintenance I suppose but maintenance is not only for the woman. It is also for the head of household. It is the unity of an experience and the confirmation of the alignment of our house and our relationship.